The Case of the Missing Zelda Diary
by Sylphiel Maiden
Summary: Yeah, This is my first story! Please read! Total randomness! Like racing turtles and calculaters and drycleaning!
1. Default Chapter

Okay, this is my first _attempt_ at being funny. I'm not that good at it...  
  
Dun Dun Dun Disclaimer: I own a rock. Not Zelda, not crazy mongoose, not SSBM. I own a fully legalized lisenced rock. I will hit you with my rock if you even _try_ to sue me.  
  
Zelda:*Pacing around room* Oh no! If that information lands in the wrong hands I will _DIE_!What am I going to do???  
  
Random person(RP): Press the red button!!!  
  
Zelda: Shut up! *Throws spoon at RP*  
  
RP: Owie.... may..be... it .... was.... the.... green button....  
  
Zelda: *Hits RP with her shoe*  
  
Impa: *enters room* So I hear some "Vital" information was stolen. If i were you, Zelda, I would get link to help you catch the culprit.  
  
Zelda: *Snaps fingers* I know, I'll phone Link and see if he can help me catch the culprit! FINALLY! A GOOD IDEA!  
  
Impa: *mutters* all this fuss over her-  
  
Zelda: Where is my cell phone!??  
  
Impa: Your holding it.  
  
Zelda: I am??????? OH!  
  
Narrator dude (ND): after a few rings....  
  
Zelda: Finally someone picked up!! Link? I need you down here now!!!  
  
Machine: hi you've reached Link. I'm out saving the world right now, but if you leave a message I will get back to you as soon as I get back to this time._BEEP_  
  
Zelda: LINK WHERE ARE YOU GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW!  
  
Impa: Answering machine?  
  
Zelda: Yup.  
  
ND: So where is link now? Let's go see...  
  
***********Link's House*****************  
  
Crazy mongoose: AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Beat you again link!!!!!  
  
Link: *drops controller* How-how- could this happen?? you've beaten me 782-  
  
Angel Kalyna: 794.  
  
Link: -794 times at Super Smash Brothers Melee and _I_ star in it!!  
  
Crazy mongoose: ^________________________^  
  
Kalyna: Link you've got a message on your answering machine. We must have missed the phone ringing.  
  
Link: I do??  
  
Kalyna: Yup *plays it*  
  
Machine: _First message_ Link Kokari? It's Kakriko Dry Cleaners. Your dry cleaning is ready to be picked up. _Next message_ LINK WHERE ARE YOU GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW!  
  
Crazy Mongoose: I'm guessing that was Zelda, right??  
  
Link: Yup.  
  
Kalyna: Oh good for a second I thought it was the dry cleaners!  
  
Crazy Mongoose and Link: O.o()  
  
Link:I better get down there.  
  
Kalyna: Can we come??  
  
Crazy Mongoose: Pleaaaaaaaaaase???  
  
Link:... Only if you promise to tell no one that You beat me at SSBM.  
  
Kalyna and Crazy Mongoose: Deal.  
  
Link: *Calls epona on Orcarina of Time*  
  
Crazy mongoose: *plays epona's song backwards on Flute of seasons (think Rod of seasons..)*  
  
Kalyna: *Plays epona's song upsidedown on calculater*  
  
Crazy mongoose and Link: A Calculator?? O.O  
  
Some Random door to door salesman: Yes! This exculive calculator can call a capable riding animal from anywhere in Hyrule! Oh yes! For 100000000000000 rupees you can have this calculator but that's not all-  
  
Link: . . . *Throws S.R.D.T.D.S. at Mido*  
  
Mido: OWIE! WHY DIDYA DO THAT FOR YOU BIG JERK?   
  
Link: *Walks away*  
  
Mido: *Starts crying and runs away*  
  
NG: Out side there was the three faithful steeds! Epona, A White horse (Crazy Mongoose's) and a Turtle. A TURTLE? WHAT??  
  
Kalyna: Yup. He's my racing turtle.  
  
Turtle: Turtle Turtle  
  
Crazy mongoose: Uh huh...  
  
*******************Castle, Later, when every one got there.*****************************  
  
Link:Man, I didn't know turtles where so fast!  
  
Crazy Mongoose:Same here!  
  
Kalyna: I told you he was my racing turtle.  
  
Zelda: *Walks into room, starts pacing* I have called you on an important, urgent note. You see, someone stole my-  
  
*Dramatic Pause*  
  
Zelda: My Diary!  
  
Sound FX: DUN DUN DUUUUN!  
  
Link: Ever wonder why that strange music plays in the cheesest of times?  
  
Kalyna and Crazy Mongoose: *Nodd*  
  
Zelda: You three are now on a quest to find my Diary! NOW GO! *Leaves*  
  
Sound FX: DUn DUN DUUN!  
  
Kalyna: Her Diary? a national distress over a diary?  
  
Link: Yep. If the world was round it would revolve around Zelda.  
  
Crazy Mongoose: The world is- er, never mind...  
  
Link: Whazthat?  
  
Crazy Mongoose: Nothing...  
  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Okay. As you can see it's not very good so far. I hope it gets better.  
  
  
(With my luck we just -know- it will only get worse)  
  
Click on ze little review thingie and please tell me what this story needs. (I.E. Humour)   
Thanks to Crazy Mongoose! Maybe I can get My reviewers into this too! 


	2. Say what? A musical?

Our three heroes are walking around town wondering about their new mission.  
  
Crazy Mongoose: Well, where do we even start looking for a diary?  
  
Link: I don't know....  
  
Kalyna: How about we spin Link around and where-ever he is facing when he stops spinning, that's the direction we'll take.  
  
Crazy Mongoose: Sounds good to me ^^  
  
Link: I don't like to be spun around though!!  
  
Kalyna: Oh please Link do this for us, oh please please please *Puppy dog eyes*  
  
Crazy Mongoose: *bigger puppy dog eyes*  
  
Link: N-ne-neee-yeeees... Alright FINE. How do I let you guys talk me into this stuff anyways?  
  
Kalyna: Simply and easily.  
  
Crazy Mongoose: Okay, Kalyn! Start spinning him on the count of five... One... Two... FIVE!  
  
Kalyna and Crazy: *spinning link*  
  
Link: Woaaaaaaaaah!  
  
When Link stopped spinning, he was looking straight at an Inn.  
  
Crazy Mongoose: Mewsikil Inn... Cool! Let's go!  
  
Link: ... ... I don't feel so good... *tries to follow Crazy Mongoose and Kalyna* Holy shirt... why is there four of you?  
  
Kalyna: *pulls Link along*  
  
Link: *can't walk in a straight line*  
  
---------------  
  
Scene change... Mewsikil Inn  
  
_______________  
  
Crazy Mongoose: *walks over to the front desk* Um, Excuse me, but you wouldn't have a-  
  
Desk person: Welcome to Mewsikil Inn! How may I help you?  
  
*Lights dim, spotlight shines on Desk person*  
  
Desk person: *Sings* Mewsikil Inn! We'll do everything to make you comfortable! Mint on your pillow, fresh sheets and towels, from our staff expect a smile, Not a scowl! We've got vacancies so just aaaaask!  
  
*lights return to normal*  
  
Crazy Mongoose: uh... um... Kalyn? Is it just me or was that really weird?  
  
Kalyna: Normally I would say it was you, but it WAS really weird.  
  
Link: I'll go ask that bellhop over there...  
  
Crazy: He looks evil to me.  
  
Evil Looking Bellhop: You're right little lady! I'm evil. *Grin*  
  
*lights dim, Spotlight shines on evil bellhop, song starts*  
  
Crazy Mongoose, Kalyna, and Link: Ooooh nooo.......  
  
Evil Bellhop: *sings* Bein' evil is my hobby, I light fires in the lobby,  
  
*male bellhops start dancing behind him*  
  
Evil Bellhop: *still singing* I'm not short, fat, tall, or thin; I just hate everythin'.  
  
Bellhops: Shortstop! Stole shop! Line hop! bellhop!  
  
Evil Bellhop: But everyone around me seems to love me, anyway. *pause* Bein evil is my pasttime, Just livin' in my crime, I don't wanna be a good-doer, I'll rob even the rats in the sewer.  
  
Bellhops: Shortstop! Stole shop! Line hop! bellhop!  
  
Evil Bellhop: But everyone around me seems to love me,Anyway.  
  
*Song ends*  
  
Crazy Mongoose, Kalyna and Link: *scared look on their faces*  
  
Kalyna: It seems that we have walked into a musical.  
  
Link: Musical=Mewsikil. We should have seen that coming.  
  
Crazy Mongoose: I don't know about you, but I don't want to be here for the big finale!  
  
Kalyna: I agree!  
  
*Crazy Mongoose and Kalyna exit stage left*  
  
Link: Good night you all! Thank you Thank you!  
  
*Crazy Mongoose walks back in and drags Link out*  
  
**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**  
  
Well, What do you think? It was pretty random, but no, they did not find any clues in the Inn.  
  
Questions? Comments? Concerns? (I assure you that I am mentally sane.) Feedback welcome. Sorry that this wasn't that great of a chappy. 


End file.
